*Spoilers*

Stephen King’s magnum opus, a story that has spanned his entire career, finally has a film adaptation! With a stellar cast, amazing source material, Stephen King and Ron Howard producing, what could go wrong? Well, let me tell you.

The Dark Tower is a series of books that tells of Roland Deschain and his Ka-tet’s journey, as well as tying together several of King’s other novels. The Dark Tower is the nexus of the Stephen King universe. You’d think a story this vast would be told through multiple movies right? After all, the main series contains eight books. Instead, we receive ninety minutes of film that barely scratches the surface.

This movie is like the worst case of blue balls!!!! Giving viewers just a glimpse into the relationship between Roland Deschain (Idris Elba) and Walter Padick (Matthew McConaughey), aka The Man in Black. And with only one other main character, Jake Chambers (Tom Taylor)!! They left out two very important characters, Eddie and Susannah Dean. If you want to know who they are, you’re gonna have to check out the books.

Ka-tet

The series is not a PG-13 rated action packed revenge story. It is a hard R rated Sci-Fi/Horror/Fantasy/Spaghetti Western that is set in a dystopian future. It’s about one man’s destiny, and what he will sacrifice to achieve it. Where he finally reaches his level of the Dark Tower, only to be thrust back to the dessert in which his story began. Our protagonist has been repeating this journey over and over, with no recollection of past events. Though each time he starts, there’s a slight change.

Gunslinger on the beach

Early in the production, it was announced that the movie serves as a sequel to the books. It’s really the only saving grace. Apparently the ending of the last book is the beginning of the movie. Giving us some kind of explanation for the injustice done to this masterful storytelling.

Please don’t judge the REAL Dark Tower by this movie. Read the books, listen to the audio books, SOMETHING!! Don’t miss out on one of the greatest stories ever told.

“The Man in Black fled across the desert and the Gunslinger followed”

Man in Black