We see a plethora click-bait every day on social media disguised as nearly believable articles. They’re filled with scandalous new information on celebrities, products, and world leaders. These sites rely on tricking the general populous into briefly believing even the most erroneous of claims. They don’t care if you buy the story, as long as you click the link and drive their ad revenue. There’s three categories of fake news out there; Stories to reinforce ideology, satire taken seriously, and ones to make money.

Much of the fake political news is used to reinforce an already strongly held political ideal. When we say “Fake News”, we don’t mean CNN. We’re talking about slanted blogs like those used to back up claims by flat-earthers and chem-trail theorists. Satirical articles are taken seriously sometimes. This even happens with the major media! This is easily avoided by simply checking your source. Money making stories don’t need to get into politics. They can be about your favorite celebrity, movie news, or sports accusations. Doesn’t matter, as long as the headline makes you click. We shed some light on these untrue pop culture stories in our weekly article “Friday Faux-Pop: Untrue Pop-Culture News”

‘Fidget Spinners’ Can Kill Your Child

The claim is that ‘Fidget Spinners’ contain a dangerous amount of lead. The origin of this story comes from a Facebook live video from lead-poisoning prevention advocate Tamara Rubin. After testing eleven ‘Fidget Spinners’, she found two containing an unsafe level of lead. Tamara’s conclusion? Buy your toys and goods from reputable vendors.

We have no issue with Tamara. She’s a consumer advocate that’s doing her best to bring up the very real problem of cheaply made consumer goods with dangerous levels of lead. Remember the Mattel lead paint debacle of 2007?

Lead Paint Prompts Mattel to Recall 967,000 Toys

We do have an issue with the websites ‘The Federalist Papers’ & ‘American Freedom Fighters’ who took her unofficial findings, reported they were official findings, and fear-mongered the ever living shit out of it! Let’s play the reality vs. fantasy game. Reality: Buy from reputable vendors to avoid goods with unsafe levels of lead. Fantasy: FIDGET SPINNERS WILL SUPER MURDER YOU, YOUR FAMILY, AND EVERYONE YOU LOVE”! Which one is more likely to make you click the link?  Fuck you, fear mongers! It’s my fidget, and I’ll spin if I want to!

Cannibals Arrested in Florida Claim Eating Human Flesh Cures Diabetes and Depression?

On 30 May 2017, the Miami Herald published an article claiming there was what seemed to be a… what, a diabetes cannibal cult?

Here’s a quote from the article:

“According to the officers, a bizarre crime scene was quickly uncovered upon entering the basement. Three men, which have since been identified as 62-year-old William Provost, 51-year-old Dennis Ratcliff, and 36-year-old Michael Dore were sitting in a circle on the basement’s concrete floor and ritualistically chanting while eating what police initially believed was an animal carcass, but was later identified as human remains.”

Seriously?! I know this was supposed to take place in Florida, but c’mon, internet! This is a classic case of a satirical article being taken seriously by a legitimate news source. The original story ‘broke’ on the satirical news site The Miami Gazette, and was never meant to be taken seriously.

The original Miami Gazette article

Someone at the Miami Herald needs a lesson in fact checking! We all know the blood of Dutch virgins cures diabetes, not just any old human flesh! Jeez!

Next Star Wars Film to be Shot Near Richmond, Virginia, Hundreds of Extras Needed

This claim even got us at Geeks Under the Influence! We believed it because we wanted so badly for it to be true! Any Star Wars fan worth their salt would do just about anything to be in a Star Wars movie! Unfortunately, this is a baseless claim utilizing a different small city in each new article. Talk about the lowest of the low! Getting up the (new) hopes of geeks everywhere for no other reason than to get website clicks? FOR SHAME!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Snopes

HeliYum — A Helium-Infused Brand of Beer?

C’mon, people! This is a common sense one. If a beer company makes a strange announcement on April 1st, it’s A GODDAMN APRIL FOOL’S JOKE! In 2014, Sam Adams announced it would be releasing a “helium-infused beer.” Only problems? Besides it being a stupid idea, the announcement was made on April 1st. Hmmm… I wonder if it’s real?

If you watched this video and thought it was anything other than a gag, you need to maybe look up the definition of gullible. It’s not in the dictionary, so you might have to do some googling. Since 2014, claims of a Helium beer have circulated the web. Most notably, the ‘Die BierProbierer‘ podcast claimed to have gotten a hold of a bottle of ‘HeliYUM’ as their own April Fools joke.

Since, both Stone Brewing Company and Berkshire Brewing Company have continued the joke. Let’s be real. This shouldn’t even be a thing on Snopes.com. You should know better. We all should know better!

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